Arrrrrgghh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve realized that I had been venting my innards out in my previous postings. I’ ve been scrutinizing every single detail I set my heart and my eyes upon and it can be frustrating at times, not only for myself but also my readers out there. Man... how I wish I can blame it solely on me being sooooo caffeine deprived & my lack of sleep of but it isn't the case.  I apologize. Truly.  I hope that in my heart of hearts that my days ahead will be easier to thread. There's so many things to do and so little time! Hopefully I’ll scrounge up something merrier soon….(fingers crossed!.......)*wink*

15 Anugerah Allah Pada Wanita Tidak Pada Lelaki

Renungan untuk saudara-saudaraku....


"1. Pada suatu ketika di Madinah, Rasulullah s.a.w. keluar mengiringi jenazah. Baginda dapati beberapa orang wanita dalam majlis tersebut. lalu Baginda bertanya, “Adakah kamu menyembahyangkan mayat?” Jawab mereka,”Tidak” Sabda Baginda “Seeloknya kamu sekalian tidak perlu ziarah dan tidak ada pahala bagi kamu. Tetapi tinggallah di rumah dan berkhidmatlah kepada suami nescaya pahalanya sama dengan ibadat kaum orang lelaki.

2. Wanita yang memerah susu binatang dengan ‘Bismillah’ akan didoakan oleh binatang itu dengan doa keberkatan.

3. Wanita yang menguli tepung gandum dengan ‘Bismillah’, Allah akan berkatkan rezekinya.

4. Wanita yang menyapu lantai dengan berzikir akan mendapat pahala seperti meyapu lantai di Baitullah.

5. “Wahai Fatimah, untuk setiap wanita yang mengeluarkan peluh ketika membuat roti, Allah akan membinakan 7 parit di antara dirinya dengan api neraka, jarak di antara parit itu ialah sejauh langit dan bumi.”

6. “Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang memintal benang, Allah akan mencatatkan untuknya perbuatan baik sebanyak utas benang yang dibuat dan memadamkan seratus perbuatan jahat.”

7. “Wahai Fatimah, untuk setiap wanita yang menganyam akan benang dibuatnya, Allah telah menentukan satu tempat khas untuknya di atas tahta di hari akhirat.”

8. “Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang memintal benang dan kemudian dibuat pakaian untuk anak-anaknya maka Allah akan mencatit baginya ganjaran sama seperti orang yang memberi makan kepada 1000 orang lapar dan memberi pakaian kepada 1000 orang yang tidak berpakaian.”

9. “Wahai Fatimah, bagi setiap wanita yang meminyakkan rambut anaknya, menyikatnya, mencuci pakaian mereka dan mencuci akan diri anaknya itu, Allah akan mencatatkan untuknya pekerjaan baik sebanyak helai rambut mereka dan memadamkan sebanyak itu pula pekerjaan jahat dan menjadikan dirinya kelihatan berseri di mata orang-orang yang memerhatikannya.”

10. Sabda Nabi s.a.w. : “Ya Fatimah setiap wanita meminyakkan rambut dan janggut suaminya, memotong misai dan mengerat kukunya, Allah akan memberi minum kepadanya dari sungai-sungai serta diringankan Allah baginya sakaratul maut dan akan didapatinya kuburnya menjadi sebuah taman daripada taman-taman syurga dan dicatatkan Allah baginya kelepasan dari api neraka dan selamatlah ia melintas Titian Shiratul Mustaqim.”

11. Jika suami mengajarkan atau menerangkan kepada isterinya satu masalah agama atau dunia dia akan mendapat pahala 80 tahun ibadat.

12. Wanita yang menyebabkan suaminya keluar dan berjuang ke jalan Allah dan kemudian menjaga adab rumahtangganya akan masuk syurga 500 tahun lebih awal daripada suaminya, akan menjadi ketua 70,000 malaikat dan bidadari dan wanita itu akan dimandikan di dalam syurga dan menunggu kedatangan suaminya dengan menunggang kuda yang dibuat daripada yakut.

13. Semua orang akan dipanggil untuk melihat wajah Allah di akhirat, tetapi Allah akan datang sendiri kepada wanita yang memberati auratnya iaitu memakai purdah di dunia ini dengan istiqamah. Dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan ialah wanita (isteri) yang solehah.

14. Salah satu tanda keberkatan wanita itu ialah cepat perkahwinannya, cepat pula kehamilannya dan ringan pula maharnya (mas kahwin).

15. Sebaik-baik wanita ialah wanita (isteri) yang apabila engkau memandang kepadanya ia menggembirakan kamu, jika engkau memerintahnya ia mentaati perintah tersebut dan jika engkau bermusafir dia menjaga harta engkau dan dirinya. Maksud hadis: Dunia yang paling aku sukai ialah wanita solehah."

Se7enth Heaven



Sad WomanLast weekend, while in a restaurant having dinner with my husband, my son and my mom, a dull looking middle aged couple walked in and sat at the table beside me. Seated across each other, they somehow looked bored stiff with each other. He was totally absorbed on his Blackberry. His tudung’ed wife in her lame attempt to make it a night for the both of them, started chatting to him but the only thing he did was nod his stupid head, he didn’t even cared to nod in her direction, all the while his icky hairy sausages BBM’ing someone else, totally oblivious to his surroundings even when his wife had asked him what he’d like to stuff his fat face in. She appears to irk him somehow based on the rankled facial gestures he made as though he had found her utterly repulsive. They were eating dinner when a group of guys came and stood outside the place. Since the fugly moron beside me knew who these people were, he hastily sprang off his seat (as if he saw the middle aged satay man outside having the blow of his life by a blonde Swedish streetwalker!) The men stood outside and had their manly “smokes” (no pun intended!) and having the laugh of their lives. After 10 minutes or so, the man walked back in to his table, and solemnly finished his meal, all these while not saying a word to his wife. He looked like a doleful glum, somehow feeling dismal upon leaving his posse and having to return to the table to his waiting wife. The wife then calmly queried her husband whom those people were. Him, feeling somewhat “harassed” by her queries, I assume, snubbed her by pursing his lips in annoyance, as if she had no business asking about his affairs with his friends. It was that longing gaze she had on her husband, clearly feeling like a fool who’s trying desperately to start a decent conversation with her “freezer” hubby that truly tugged at my heartstrings. Sheila Majid’s song “Hitam Putih Kehidupan” unconsciously echoed in my head. I could feel my was stomach churning and I felt nauseous. I felt sorry for her. She must have thought that her own husband finds her too much of a weary bore to even want to open his pie hole to chat. Man, the thought of him pursing those fugly lips of his if she ever questions his lousy act in the sack! Ewwwwww!!!!!!! I said to myself, man..she had pledged her life to an ass! For that split second, my mind wandered off with me, wondering how they’re like when they’re alone at home..

Do they talk to each other?

Does he find her a tired old bore?

Does she cry herself to sleep?

Is she in regret to have pledged her mortal life to a dead beat?

Is he kicking himself in the gonads for not marrying his soul mate?

Are they even in love with each other anymore?

After being chided by my mom for being the biggest “kepochi” alive, I ceased my quiet scrutiny of the couple and continued on with my meal, somehow feeling a rapture of a hushed resentment towards these blokes we call “men”. Why do they act the way they do? Do they seriously think they’ll remain a royal bachelor after they get hitched? Why the split personality? Do their wives bore them to death that much to have her dismissed like some bubonic plague? Do these men planned to be miserable, domineering assholes to the one they had promised to love and to cherish till death do us part? I am a cynic. Those vow on “to love for better or for worse” has made me the Doubting Thomas of this much clichéd medieval crap. I don’t believe that anyone can cherish you till death do us part, for better or for worse. People change, though not all for the better but to expect you to mould yourself into someone whom they think suits them, is purely malicious in the worse sense possible. It badgers your spirit. It maims your confidence and the worse thing is, you’re lying to the only person you should trust. Yourself. It’s heart wrenching to have the person whom you have pledged your life to shove you into a corner, as if laughing in glee seeing you wasting your life away into nothingness and forced to honor his thoughtless demands till the day you kick the bucket. Basically, you’ll be in a constant discord with yourself sooner later for giving in to these tactless fools. You become dejected and depressed. Marriage should be a union, not making your partner a hasty rival. Value yourself first above all others if your happiness is at stake. For God’s sake, stop moping and take a stand!!!!!!! Men undeniably loves being in control. It takes a bruising to his manly ego if a woman takes the rudder and tell him what to do, even if he is an empty vessel.

I feel that no one shares anything with each other anymore. I see people being too wrapped up in their own cocoon of negative self delusions and insecurities. Yes, I understand that conflicts do occur in a marriage, but it doesn’t mean that it gives anyone the God given right to take you for granted. When that happens, people go astray in hopes to be loved and cherished again. We can’t really point fingers now can we? Nobody likes the feeling of being neglected. All we ask is to be cherished, valued through our rough and ready years. You’ll be amazed at how a wounded heart can heal itself with a little touch of compassion.

It is a trend for men to label their wives as naggers, one-eyed monsters, “kepochis”, soul badgers, whatchamacallit. We become easy targets for their failures and dilemma. We get the unduly task of being blamed for a man’s frustrations, under accomplishments. We are held liable for everything horrid that happens to them. Most men will not appreciate our views even if you see them careening their high horse out of control. As a result, we are suppressed into keeping our opinions to ourselves. I simply call it “manly ego”.(and they call us girls vulnerable!)

I have personally heard a man screaming bloody murder to this poor wife when she called to just ask him where he was. What horrified the begeezus outta me was when she calmly ended the call and in tears say to me..” So I guess he’s not free to meet me today!!!” Mannnnnnnnn!!! I would have liked to grab that f*#@*&!!! gonads and hear him scream in an ear-piercing pain, pleading for mercy as I pour boiling hot lava down his f****** throat! Urggghhh.. I cannot understand and refuse to comprehend on how people can be so malevolent to one another.

I’ve once had a narcissist tacitly declared to me that a woman can never have a man as a best friend in fear of them falling in love sooner later. I beg to differ but I my very best friends now were those whom I had known throughout high school/ college/work. These are the people whom have gone to become a huge part of my better self. They make me happy. No strings attached. They have been my confidant, my “binging” buddies, 4am coffee buddies, weekend car shopping buddies, the friend you could call to talk if you have a power trip at home at night, alone and scared shitless. Some have even gone through colossal lengths to help me when I needed their help. Who made these narcissists king of the world and tell you that you can’t be the best of friends with the other sex? Not everything has to involve “physical interaction” lah. Attempt to lecture me about the heavens above and I won’t still be able to rationalize this selfish medieval theory. This preconceived notion that we, (usually the weaker sex, as you guys so thoughtfully label us) are pathetic love fools is utterly juvenile. It is solely based on their own insecurities, creating their own self doubts and I find it LAME! We know a jerk when we see one. I’m not a moron. The gender is of irrelevance to me. It is the intention that matters the most. Period.

A woman is considered disrespectful to be yelling or thrashing her husband, or even questioning his actions. They would say that he’s in an “abusive” relationship and he will end up calling Befrienders if he’s feeling suicidal or maybe TeleDera if he feels he’s being “tweaked” the wrong way.. Boo hoo hoo!! Attacking his pride renders her insolent. If it happens to women like us, it is considered alright because his word is law and she’s deemed a Super Saint for having the gumption to endure such lousy treatment from her husband. We cannot change our past. We can’t change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. My late father raised me so I can stand on mountains, not buried beneath it. If you are, then get your ass back up because if you really put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. He also taught me to be more than I can possibly be. A wise man he was.

In my personal experience, not everyone will know what’s good for you. In my religion, we’ll be guaranteed a spot in the “Se7enth Heavens” for being such saints to these domineering bullies. So it is alright for us to be treated like household trash during our mortal life here on earth, only to be treated like gold when we croak. Defy this and you risk having your ass burnt to a crisp in hell.

My guess, God must be a man.

My Rants Part II



I’ve been blog hopping for quite some time and I’ve noticed a lot of rants from my fellow bloggers carp on the issue of “Soul Mates”. Interesting read and subject I may add and it’s quite appealing to read about how many of us are questioning ourselves on whether we’re ever gonna find “The One”.

Yes. Comparisons are easily done once you’ve had a taste of perfection. But when do you become aware of the fact that these beautiful souls exist? I have been asked on How can two people so opposite be meant for each other? Some may already have a label for this. Call it an odd pairing, unlikely pair,bagai langit and bumi, but I call it “A Divine Intervention”. Why do I say this you may ask?

Well, opposites not only attract, they can blend. Blending opposite traits and talents can reward a relationship with accomplishment. The psychological task is simple really. Appreciate the complementary traits of one another, because they offer you a glimpse of your own greater potentials. Through the constant reflection of your Divine Intervention, you touch a more unified intelligence--your COMPLETENESS. He completes you. Nothing “poyo’ish” about Jerry when he uttered these words to Dorothy kan? I thought he said it all so beautifully. I didn’t quite value the true meaning of these words at the time as I was a clueless 19 year old. It was only after watching re-runs of the movie years later, had I fully understood what that bugger really meant!

Soul mates have different tasks to fulfill in your life, and likewise theirs. It is not always the case that these relationships will exist on a level where 'physical' interaction is involved and this should not be confused with their initial task toward you. They’re not here to fix your troubled marriage but rather a confidante you can relate to, neither are they present to fix your dreary sex life. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. Call them ‘your mirrored image” but he/she ought to bring out the very best in you without qualms. Period.

Many people perceive it always involves some kind of “physical contact”. Some Soul Mates are here only to serve as being a link between two other Soul Mates of theirs in the first place. This alone is a very important and significant task, as without that link the reunion of the other souls might not ever happen.

As you can see, there is no limit to what a true Soul Mate might do in order to provide their support and, on many occasions, it is not fully understood why they do so. You might question my statement and wonder why a Soul Mate will give up his or her own Soul Mate to provide a link for someone else to move on in! I mean is this not the dream we are searching for all of our lives? Well, that's beauty of Soul Mate, that is, unconditional love!

When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. As cliché as this may sound to others, He awakens the REAL YOU! Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Your soul mate is the one who makes life come to life. At least that’s my understanding on the subject.

Regardless of the level of your Soul Mate, it does not mean in any way or form that Soul Mates have to be involved in a physical relationship in order for them to be together. In any of those levels, it is very easy to fall into the trap of taking things for granted. This should be avoided at all costs. Both Soul Mates have to be ready to embark into their journey together, and this is very important for the relationship to succeed. Heck it, your spouse can be your ultimate soulmate if you cap the divide of not wanting to invest yourself fully in your relationship anyway!

Here are the three levels of Soul Mates I have come to realize and understand through experiences of my own:

Level One: Your mirrored image – These are a rare example. However, it is possible that they do exist in each of our lives at one point or another. We might have one or two in a lifetime if we are lucky! What makes them special?

Soul Mates of this sort come into our life in a fast, weird and unexpected way. The situations and events in our lives begin to change of their own accord, in order to accommodate the arrival and the reunion of both Souls. In such a case such as this, it is can almost be said that it is 'written in the stars!' Both Souls have to be ready for each other, as I did explain before it is not enough to sustain the relationship at its full potential, only by existing as Soul Mates. This level is the strongest and most powerful type of Soul Mates. They do have many similar interests and share an almost equal interest in their life direction. They will think alike, and in many cases will be able to continue speaking a sentence where the other one has left off. They are a mirror of each other, although they do not have to be exactly the same. However, each one compliments the other with their individual strengths and weaknesses and they will understand each other by being on same 'wavelength'.

Level Two: Your No.1 Fan, Your Supporter – Soul Mates of this sort are everywhere around you. Try to take deeper look at the people who surround you. Just look around when you are in dire need of help or guidance in a 'life or death' situation or at a time when you have a heavy burden on your shoulders. Who is around you and ready to listen to you when you really need their assistance? Think of the people who bring you comfort and peace when you need it, or who answer your call when you need some help. These types of Soul Mates do have unconditional love towards each other which can sometimes be difficult to comprehend. Is there someone in your life, of whom, you can relate to being there in that fashion?

Level Three: Your Provider – We encounter these types of Soul Mates in situations that might feel 'weird' or perhaps in some un-expected places. We like to refer to them, sometimes, as being our angels. If they occur, they usually will not stay in our lives for a great length of time. You might come across a Soul Mate of this kind when you are just chowing down your favourite curry drenched nasi kandar in a mamak joint, eating away and from nowhere someone will provide with you a small message that will open up a possible answer to those 'thoughts' you have upon a certain circumstance in your life. These Soul Mates are placed on your path 'out of the blue' and we might never see their face again! We then carry on, feeling blessed at having had them in our life at that necessary moment. Their role is to provide us with an answer or a push toward making a small decision in order to keep us moving in our lives and struggles at that time. Can you relate to such an occurrence in your life?

In the end, we all can be the 'right' Soul Mate for anyone we choose in our life, but only when we are ready to treat our partner as a human being, as a soul and to cherish every moment spent with them. Also it is crucial that we learn to let go of the fact that we do have differences between us and any 'ego' that exists in any relationship. Let’s just say you’re already married. If you start looking for perfection in your spouse, or think that everything in your relationship should immediately click, and that there won't be any problems, you are setting yourself up for a dose of heavy disillusionment. Another danger in believing in the concept of soul mates is taking your marriage relationship for granted. There can be temptation to bail out of an unhappy marriage if you think your spouse isn't your soul mate. If you think that marriage to your soul mate will mean a life free from hard times and conflict, you are not facing reality.

So, how ready are we? That's the bottom line! The search has to start from within ourselves first don’t you think?

From my account of how Soul Mates exist in our lives, we can see that they are everywhere around us and we have been blessed since the day we were born! How much real attention do we pay to the people around us? I believe that most of the time we do take these people for granted! Why? One main reason is because we become too self-centered, leading to us disregarding those people around us who provide us with help, who listen to us and generally do sympathize with us in our time of need. After all, it is not only about providing someone with sympathy, but about acknowledging people for who they really are.


I would also like to mention here that any relationship that brings the union of 'Old Souls' is above all and the best time and example of soul mates being together, the reason being, for what they will bring to each other in terms of growth, understanding and appreciation. As a result of their union their wisdom, compassion, value of each other and evolution of consciousness will flourish in a way that would be almost impossible for them to achieve if they were united with another soul that is less highly evolved than what they are themselves. In such a case the older soul will always feel a huge gap or that there is something missing in the relationship in terms of their overall understanding and awareness of each other and it is only because the souls exist on two completely different levels of consciousness.

At the end Soul Mate is about unconditional love. If you have that and you can provide that to anyone around and especially towards your partner, I believe you find your Soul Mate after all!

A great soulmate quote from Season Two of HBO's Six Feet Under, 'Back to the Garden' starring Peter Krause as Nate and Molly Parker as Rabbi Ari. Fabulous series, if you haven't seen it!

Nate: "I don't even know if she's my soulmate."
Rabbi: "Oh, I get it, she's not your soulmate, but you're going to marry her… because you have nothing better to do? Well great… that sounds… good."
Nate: "Well, I don't even know what a soulmate is, do you?"
Rabbi: "I think a soulmate is... a person who makes you be the most you, you can possibly be." [Nate looks skeptical] "Maybe your soulmate is… the person… who forces your soul to grow the most. Not all growth feels good."

Beautiful.








Football

We have enrolled our dear son in the Football Academy of Subang Jaya last weekend and he’s super, super excited. The elated expression on his face was priceless as his dad came home bearing a registration form from the football instructor who is an FAM coach himself. Being the cool cat that he is, he coolly thanked his father and walked away, only hearing him eagerly telling his cousins of the news inside the house. I think it’s adorable. He has always been into football and I know that it’ll enormously help him build his self confidence. As for his little sister, maybe I’ll enroll her for piano lessons or a swimming class.

The Usual Rants

Been a hectic week for me. With the driving lessons, my husband’s work offer, his attempts in getting a decent car for myself, things have been indeed draining for the both of us.

Apart from this, I’ve been a lot of thinking about my future. I feel like going back to work to help him out my but the pickings are slim now. I’ve applied to a couple of companies but have not received any replies yet. Even my bro in law has offered me a spot in his company, the only drawback is that it’s all the way in Banting, and I’m staying in Sg. Buloh. I’m just thinking about the logistics and it’s gonna be quite a commute for me. I don’t know. A part of me wants to go back to work, yet another part is saying stay home because I do enjoy being in the comfort of my home. I would go out to the balcony in the mornings only to see a massive jam leading to the highway where people are still half awake and forced out of their slumber to brave the morning rush to get to the office. I’m not trying to be a diva, but there must be another way to make a living, at least that’s what I think. I’ve came up with a few gainful business ideas but it’s still under wraps as I need to carefully consider the pros and cons to it. I used to be so envious of these poor tortured souls but not anymore. I do enjoy having brunch with my cousins and a working week, chatting with them and being able to spend time with my kids anytime I want to.

Whilst others are worried that I might end up being just a "datin" like house-frau, I loathe at the idea of having to spend 40 hours of my life each week, trapped in an office cubicle, doing the same damn thing every single day. I have done that for at least 14 years and it can be quite daunting and I am not looking forward to doing it again anytime soon. I wanna be able to fetch my kids from school, go shopping with them, have lunch with them and putting them to bed at night, without having to worry about getting back home on time to wake up at the crack of dawn to go back to work the next day!!!! I didn’t like the complaints I had when I was working before. Everyone had something to say, and it's devastating and maims your spirit. Anyhoo, that’s old news and I am a changed person now. I don’t let anyone bring me down anymore and I will not tolerate unwarranted criticism from anyone for that matter. For me, if you can’t say anything nice, then shut the hell up PLEASE!!!!