A Life Lived or F****D?


A life worth living is having fully lived it. After all, you only live once and if you do it right, then once  is more than enough. For someone who hasn’t gone where she had  intended to go, I think I have ended up where I needed to be---to laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give of one’s self,  to leave the world a little bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
 
If anyone were to size me up as a person, a friend they would probably say that I'm at times a droll yet impatient and a little insecure. That I have made mistakes to last me three lifetimes, a bit outta control, a loony bin and at times hard to handle. That is true to some point but if people can't handle me at my worst, then they sure as fuck don't deserve me at my best. I can't stress emough the magnitude of trying to unearth these discoveres early on, preferably much earlier on. But such was not my case as I was too busy trying to block all my past miseries out and try to never think of it again-----till today, when I truly wanted and needed to laugh. Which I can do as these discoveries are no longer part of my life.
 
No one holds a crystal ball that displays their future. Some say, having such would suck all the fun out of life. If I had a crystal ball that would warn me of my future failures and success, I’d be ‘effing rich and probably won’t waste another day writing down my vapid thoughts in a place where probably no one would bother reading…probably. For the most part I agree. Bearing in mind that I’ve had a few surprises come  my way that  would've been a whole lot easier had I known they were heading in my direction. Just to brace myself you know what it mean? So, no crystal ball and a  couple of vapid posts after, I am still doing what I love most. Living and writing a hogwash of thoughts into this giant void. Very 2002 some might say. Well, it rocks my boat so why the hell not eh?
 
Regardless, little surprises, both good and bad has lined the path I have walked in life. There’s no way to discover now what sits beyond our sight, nestled somewhere down the highway or a rocky path. The best we can do is explore what we want to explore in its entirety while we walk. Life is about living - not holding back. There will be plenty of time for containment once we’ve passed on, and discover such a thing no longer exists. So as we walk on, I say we do so sampling and discovering all that we can. Hopefully, we’ll stumble upon some good surprises along the way. I don’t wanna be known as the girl who grumbled about life, but rather a person who took it face on despite its wretchedness and all that life entails. There will be posts from time to time about how miserable I am, fucked by life, friends, bla..bla..blaaa BUT this is what we call life. Live life or be fucked by it.