Stop looking to others for happiness.
Been there. Done it. Ain’t worth shit because I’m only lying to myself. Also a trait that I see in soooo many people. They find comfort in being with someone who tells them they’re beautiful when your husband/wifey tells u that you look Madea UH'GLY and could lose like a 100 pounds just so you could been seen with them in public. Or that you have garlic-breath.
Then…., Swoooossh!!!!!!!!!!!!..., comes this knight in shining armor, or a savior princess, or whatever and tells you that your fart smells like heaven and they like you "big" (some guys may call you voluptous, curvy, it means you're HUGE!) or that beauty is in the eye of the fucking beholder---and you become the best of friends. You tend to shut the world out to solely focus on this ONE good thing who tells you EVERYTHING! Guilty as sin! Truth is, when you feel like a pig, stop stuffing your face. If your stale breath could wake up the dead, then go brush your teeth. What I’m saying is, you have to do something about it. If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long term relationship with anyone else either that will blind you with the illusion of you being all "perfection" when you're not. Create that solidity in your OWN life first before you can share it with someone else. Don’t be the person outside looking in.
Stop Getting Involved in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
Same as the above. You can’t cheat a scale nor a mirror… or the breath detector. And yes, your fart will always smell like rotten eggs. Change and you’ll see results. Relationships has to be chosen wisely but also use it with caution. Don't be blinded by unkept promises and never believe an ass who tells you that they'll never leave because baby, they all. After all that I’ve gone through, there’s one valuable thing I learned. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If it’s meant to be, it will happen, in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.
Fall in love when you’re ready, no when you’re lonely.
Stop Trying to Compete against everyone else.
I have been known to be very competitive you know. Afterall, it’s human nature. I gotta stop worrying about what others are doing better than me. And learn to bersyukur dengan apa yang sudah Tuhan kurniakan, rezeki, perlindungan,kesihatan, keluarga.
Stop Being Jealous of Others.
Envy. It’s one of those emotions we’d like to admit we don’t have, but we do. It’s a very powerful one and if not kept in check, can lead you down roads you do NOT want to travel. Roads that lead to jealousy, depression, resentment, hate, anger, loss of personal power, and great unbalance in your work, social, and personal life. At times, I’m so focused on the things or qualities that I lack. Plus I put too much focus on others. Sometimes, I ask my already poor, at times idle brain,..
”Why don’t I have her looks? Aiyo, where she buy her baju ah? Damn nice lah. Sure got my size wan!
Eh, why am I so stupid ah?? Count properly oso cannot meh? Still have to count with my fingers ah?
She’s dark skinned, but she’s got nice hair colour… I want oso lah! Even if it’ll cost me and arm and a leg!
Man, check out her new handphone? Brand new Samsung S4…, and I look down at mine which has probably seen better days.
And I go sigh, and I start dialing my husband to ask for a new one. See? Menyusahkan org lain sebab diri tak pernah puas hati dengan apa yang DAH kita ada. Tapi lagi suka tengok apa yang kita takde.
This is me wearing GREEN, brand label, ENVY!
And it’ll continue to manifest itself and on day you’ll end up having like 10 handphones, an over treated lion mane, and clothes that don’t fit. Common these isn’t it?
I’ve gotta stop underestimating myself. I do have other qualities/ possession that other people don’t. Do you know how ludicrous it sounds to be naming off all the qualities that other people have when you don’t even think of doing it to yourself? Stop focusing on others. Jealousy is an art of counting someone else's blessings instead your own. It’s a disgusting habit to have.
And if you can’t count, buy a calculator.
Stop Holding Grudges.
I’ve live a life with hate in my heart and ended up hurting myself more than the people I hate.
I imagine one of the reasons I had clung on to hate so stubbornly, I figured, was because, once the hate is gone, I will be forced to deal with the pain that comes at the end of it. So, after hating someone, I held on to the next remedy. Holding a grudge and at it, I AM a PRO. It’s still something that I’m grappiling with and I need to let go. Forgiveness is the answer…, let go, find peace and liberate myself. And move the fuck on with life.
Gotta stop wasting time explaining myself to others
Aha!!! Simple. The people around me don’t need it, and my enemies won’t believe it anyway so why the hell bother explaining myself? I’ll just do what’s right in my heart and stop waiting for approval. Do what I want and live my life. Yes, it is that easy. Try it.
I ain’t Perfect
Nobody is. God knows I'm not either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later I regretted them of course but of course went on made bigger ones,over and over again, thousands of times; with a stubborn feeling of complete hollow joy and a vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something about myself, so how bad can that be?
I wanna called the baddie but in a way enticing, and in a good way that also comforts. A mischief but is the warmth of everybody’s heart. I wanna have lived perfectly imperfect.
The REAL world doesn’t reward perfectionistsw,I’ll get rewarded when I get things done. I would hate it being labeled the”detergent commercial housewife” or a friends who’s plastic who wants everything in perfect order all the time. I ain’t perfect and I don’t ever want to be called perfect. It’s a disgrace to be called such a thing and even worse, to live up to other people’s expectation of you being that perfect! I know that I’m a warm and loving person with a good heart. I’m perfectly imperfect!
Blaming Others for My Troubles.
Bersalah, Tuan Arif. Saya memang suka salahkan orang tapi tak pernah diri saya. People leave because they can’t take my crap anymore and who wouldn’t? To be constantly placed in the dock for the tiniest of faults, few harmless acts, I’ve been down that road all too many times. It’s like having their under a guillotine for even voicing out their grouses about me.
I somehow, conciously or unconsciously blamed others for my troubles, and why not? It was the perfect device to instantly make me feel better and in a situation that I cannot control,had hoped to gain a little sympathy. Or a smidgen of compassion that I didn’t have before? Who would want to “kesian” a mega blaming bitch to begin with? So, there I was, cold, isolated and desperate for something I knew I couldn't have.
A solution. A remedy. Anything.
I hated it. Alone and confused was the last place I wanted to be.
Somehow I knew I deserved this. I have no one to blame but myself. Sendiri cari pasal nape??? When I blame others for what I’m going through, I’m denying myself responsibility for my own life.
If I could turn back time, I would get me self a slab and smack me head! I was that that big a fool.