Continuation....

Hey, I’m back from coffee heaven, did a few chores and napped.

So, let’s get a move on with my list shall we?

I’ve gotta stop trying to hold onto the past.

Yup, this is probably the worst fault that I had lugged in me throughout my life. I’ve had a rather colorful past, juvenile delinquent, dejected wife, betrayal by friends and family, you name it, I’ve been through all things painful. Because I was so unforgiving and too busy being angry, I’ve lost friends, lovers, and I almost lost my husband to this heinous act of mine. I became this mega bitch who was hell bent in getting even that I just wouldn’t stop and it just ate everyone up,and over time, tore myself apart/  When my friends hauled their asses out the door when they couldn’t take me anymore, (though some were just pure ASSESS to begin with, so I’ll just let them go to hell). The fact that I was so unbending to any kind of worthy gestures because I was afraid they had ulterior motives. Let me tell you, I was a GONER ------ till that list came up. And let me tell you, I lost them all.

Can you just imagine the pain that I put everyone through so that I could achieve revenge? More often than not, people make mistakes but people can also change. Some can be stubborn asses,  some belligerent idiots, some just spoiling for a fight. How can I start the next chapter of my life when I keep re-reading my last???? The past is nothing but a tumour that it will fester inside of you like cancer.  One thing. Learn to love the "swine" you’re with and you’ll see a cosmic change, this I promise you. Remember, I ain’t perfect to begin with so why so memilih??? I have to avoid making too lengthy meditation on the past and just get a move on.

To those poor souls I had unwillingly hurt, I am very sorry. To those useless ones, you better not be making comeback if you know what’s good for you.

Gotta Stop being scared of fucking up

Is something I’ve done over and over again. It’s like a disease I tell you. But lemme say this, doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing am I right? I do hold a success story or two at my disposal, but there’s also a trail of failures behind it as well. I reckon that I will regret the things that I did NOT do far more than the things I did. So why so takut??

Gotta stop trying to buy happiness, or affection.

Guilty as charged and it ain’t worth it. The things that really satisfy me are totally free. Plus, never ask a guy/girl to love you or love you back. It’s pointless and it ain’t worth shit in the end.

Stop Being Idle.

Lazy. 

Slothful.

Ah, it brings back memories. Being “idle” when I’m home alone and bored, my mind takes flight and wandering too far off for my own good. I tend to create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Gotta learn to evaluate situation and take decisive actions. Is it worth getting your mind jammed with doubts and for no good a reason? Yup, lost some friends because of this also. I can’t change what I refuse to confront. Loneliness is not lack of company, but lack of purpose. Period.

Stop rejecting new friendships just because old one didn’t work

I believe there is a purpose for everyone I meet or have met. Some are complete idiots, some are genuinely into me. Some has tested me, taught me, some used me. But the best kinds are the ones who brought out the best in me. The moment that I feel  like that I have to prove my worth to someone, it is the moment for me to absolutely walk away. They ain’t worth the effort I tell ya’. For this, I gotta thank my dear sister, Zurina. You’re my rock and although we’re in different time zones, you can always, always make me laugh. I love you.

Well, duty calls so I’ll catch up with you later folks!