Worst Nightmare!!

I’ve just had my worst nightmare last Saturday. I had the kids home with me and were planning a shopping trip after Erin’s nap. I put Erin down for her nap at 11.30am and she woke up at around 2.00pm. I carried her to the living room and was watching her play with Ezane, with me sitting on the couch. She got up and suddenly she started shivering. I thought that she had “ terkencing” in her pam-pam and thought it was so cute of her. Suddenly she started having spasms and she suddenly turned blue. I quickly ran to her and checked if she had choked on something but the palms of her hand and feet were white and cold. I quickly called Halim who was already on the way to pick the children up. I told him to step on it coz Erin was already going into spasms. I managed to remain calm and put her into her cot and told Ezane to keep and eye on his sister as I went to change my clothes. Less that a minute after that, Ezane ran to me and said that Erin had already turned blue. I felt her forehead and she was burning up and fast. I called for an ambulance and told them what had happened and was told that they’re on the way. I packed her baby bag and took the lift down to the lobby. The paramedics arrived within 5 mins after the call and they brought her into the ambulance. The sirens blared and we were sent to the nearest hospital. She was wheeled into the emergency room and they put on the oxygen mask so that she could breathe. Her temperature was 39.5 and after thorough investigation, I was told that she had just suffered a “fit”. I was floored and just cried my eyes out. After she was stabilized, she was admitted to the ward.

I called Aida to inform her of what had happened and she was clearly trying to assure me that everything was going to be ok. At the ward, she was injected with pennicillin and PCM to bring her temperature down. Aida came to hand me some stuff for my stay, followed by mummy who rushed over as soon as she got the news. The baby had to be admitted for observation to see if .there’s any further infection of the brain and blood. But why is she having the fits?? I asked myself. She was perfectly fine when she came this morning. How could this happen?

Why didn’t I check her temperature before?

I started to blame myself. I felt hopeless that I couldn’t help my baby. I had to witness the doctors poking her tiny arms and feet to check for any visible blood vein. She was screaming in pain. I felt like the worst mother in the world. What’s wrong with my baby??? I couldn’t stop crying.

She was still burning up that night and she was restless. The doctors said that her throat were filled with lesions or ulcers and that had caused her body temperature to soar. Her tiny body was “overheated” causing her to have fits. I slept with her on the bed and lullabied her to sleep. She slept in my arms and I never once left her side. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I was too scared to close my eyes. I was too scared for her.

She was feeling much better come Sunday and was up to her usual antiques when visitors started pouring in to see her. She was her usual “kerek” self and they were so relieved to watch her throw her milk bottle to the floor after she’s done feeding. Her body temperature had stabilized that Sunday but she had to be put under observation till Monday, and also to wait for her blood test results. I was relieved.

Was told Monday morning that she was going to be fine and that there’s no viral infection to the brain and blood.The doctor warned me about keeping a close watch on her progress this week as she's now prone to having another fit if she's sick. She will be discharged today. YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Kak Cik came with Poji to keep her company while I went to settle the hospital bills and to the hosp pharmacy and by 3pm, she was already back home with me, running around as if she had never been sick. Her arms and legs were blue black (from where they had pricked her!) Other than that, she’s doing fine and well. Even the security guards at home were ecstatic to see her, they even brought her jalan2 at the lobby to show her off. It was such a sweet scene that’ll I’ll never ever forget.

I'd like thank my family and friends who came to my rescue that day, and for visiting us at the hospital.

To Mama, Ingga, Liza, Brian, Kakak, Ezane, Abg, Pepe, Aida, Hussein, Khalis, Halim, Kak Siti, Abg. Amir and family, Thank you all soooooooooo much!!!! Love you guys!!!!

To Ezane, thank you for being so calm thoughout mummys' ordeal and for packing adik's bag that day. You're the most amazing 7 year old any mom could ever ask for, sweetie pie. You're truly a life saver. Mummy loves you very, very much. I'm very proud that you're mummy's son. My hero!!!

To my hubby, Shahril, Don't worry ok? Im here. Love u and miss you. Wish you were here!!!!

FYI: Had called my "boss" on Sunday to inform him what had happened to my daughter and to tell him that i won't be coming in for work on Monday. He said..
" Sure...sure..ok". But please don't forget that you've got to conduct the RBA training in Kluang on Wednesday n Thursday ok? Two words for him...FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! Inconsiderate, pathetic, rigid,unfeeling son of a M***F***R!!!! Well, maybe 7, but who's counting anyway? I could go on and on and on...............and on............