30 Things That I Should Stop Doing To Myself

Ever so often, I ask myself.

When I stop chasing the wrong things, I’m giving the right things to catch me….

And my mind takes flight.

I read a newspaper article a while back and was intrigued by this woman who said “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Well, I thought she couldn’t have said it more accurately and definitely at the most opportune time I should add. You see, I’ve been a crossroad lately, well actually throughout my adult life. (not trying to sound like Oprah here) I was incessantly trying to figure out how I came about this life that I’m living. Life ain’t all that bad but I felt that something was holding me back and I can seem to pinpoint what it was. Why is that I couldn’t make a move on? I made list of the things that has been bothering me for years and started writing it all down. In the end, I had almost 30 things of what I feel is holding me back throughout the years.  Please bear with me as you go through me on this as I can’t cramp it all in at once but I will try my best. Afterall, my best is all I have to give. (That’s in the list too,,,)

After almost a week busy workin’ my brain on the list, I finally came out with a few interesting things about myself that has been on "sleep" mode all because I was too big of an ass to face….

Stop spending time with ASSES.

Oh, man!!!! Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of me. Sometimes u have annoying friends,, maybe irritating neighbours, perhaps a cantankerous family member who’s so hard to fend off bcoz you don’t want to hurt their feelings and bla..bla…bla..? Well, ditch em’. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your own. If they want you in your life, they’ll make room for you. I realize that I shouldn’t stoop so low and fight for a spot. If you really can’t shake them off, then its time tell them to take their annoying, bothersome behaviour and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Period. Just do it.

Face My Fear

Which I have have an affair with throughout my life. Running or hiding from will not solve anything and it’ll definitely come back and bite your sweet behind! There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them, me included. I can’t instantly solve problems especially they’re been festering inside you for way too long kan? That’s not how I’m made. But thhats the whole purpose of living- problems, learn, adapt and solve them over the course of time and I know I’ve been at this crossroad for as long as I can remember. So what do I do from now on? Face them head on. Well, except cockroaches, that one i cannot tahan lah....

Gotta Stop Lying To Me Self

I can lie to anyone in the world, but I c an’t lie to myself.

Yup, and age old ayat hikmah that I carry. My life will only improve when I take chances, and being honwst with yourself is high on the “to do” list. I’m still working on mine though.

ME, the back-burner

I realize after all the donkey years that I’ve lived and of course losing myself in the process of loving someone too much, I forgot that I’m bloody special too. Of course lah, u can help others, but also help yourself up too and why the hell not???? Why is it a crime to make myself happy? Sorry for being blunt here but is it because I’m a wife and a mom whose sole duty is to be the sacrificial lamb for others? My mother used to tell me that she sacrificed her happiness so that we could have hers and I’m thinking, how silly can you be, mom? Probably the worst advice she has ever given me I reckon. Look what’s happening now? Your kids sucked the happy outta you that you have none left! If you want to give happiness away to someone, do it with content. Yes, I do love my children and will do whatever it takes to get them through life and this is the one trait that I do not want them to carry. HAPPINESS. This self- sacrificial crap I dah tak mau pakai. I want my kids to grow up happy, happy and filled with nothing but with happiness.  I don’t want them to be crying in a corner waiting for their life to start just because they put in their own need in second place. I will not have that and neither should you. Shouldn’t  slave your way through life. Sail it, swim through it, whatever, but please fucking DO IT NOW!!!!!

Alrighty then, I’ve got to make myself happy now and going to brew some coffee. I will of course update you later on the list as soon I’m back from caffeine heaven. Afterall, life starts after coffee right?

Love you.