Erin. B

I was sitting on my couch, head buried intently in a book when Erin shouted from the kitchen…”Mama, you want me to make Milo for you? It suddenly dawned on me that my baby girl is going to be five.

5.

That is almost six. That is almost time for school. First, she will have to attend kindergarten. I’m sad to let her go nonetheless, but I’ve got to. She needs her independence, friends, most importantly she needs her education. She’s becoming such a monkey at home and I realize that I have to let her go. I’m going to miss having her home with me. I’m going to miss fighting for the remote when I want to watch my cooking show and she wants to watch her cartoons. I’m going to miss the afternoon naps that we take together. Sigh.

 

2010:

Erin B. enjoying her dinner in the garden 2010.

This year:

Universal Studios, Singapore 2012. Taken with her older brother, Ezane H.

She’s grown so much. So, so much. Nothing quite captures just how fast time goes by until you watch a child grow up before your very eyes. Seriously. We were out last night and she stood up and said “be right back mama, I’m going to wash my hands”. Her older brother got up to follow her and she said ”NO! Abang sit down.Tisha go” and started walking away from me in the middle of the restaurant. I put the kibosh on that pretty quickly, but that is just a testament to how independent she thinks she is. And she did it…..with soap!!!!!!

I love how I can actually have a conversation with her now. I love how she is empathetic and can tell me when her big brother is hurting ( Ezane H. was down with food poisoning last week) , and can tell me why she is frustrated or happy or whatever. I love that she can connect “You don’t love Tisha” with the fact that I wouldn’t let her do something she wanted to do (even though that isn’t necessarily my favorite thing to hear). I’m called a donkey (from her favourite Shrek movie, what else?) if I nag when she piles on too much food on her plate (which is always the trigger to my nagging-ness, or when I bising while picking up after her mess or when sing off key. She is making connections and can control her emotions and I love seeing how grown up she is becoming with it all. My only regret is that it took me forever to realize that I’m now a mother and that my kids mean the world to me. Dumb ass I know.

 

I’ve got about 10 months to go before our turn for 5 is actually here, and I’m eager to see how else my little baby evolves. This also means I’ve got 10 months to continue going through denial. Please, for the love of God, make no mention of the year of Five. Mama loves you Erin B.